I was leaving the dog park yesterday with Sam when I noticed a blue truck pull out into the road. That's when it struck me and I had to wonder about it for several minutes.

Why do people hang giant fake plastic ball sacks on the back of their trucks? I suspect it's namely men because I have a hard time seeing a woman do this unless she plans on hitting as many speed bumps, spikes, and boiling pits of acid in post-breakup induced malicious glee. I suppose there could be nothing more pleasurable than bashing, boiling, or dicing in effigy your recent philandering ex's scrotum.

Anyway, in this case it was most assuredly not a maniacally grinning and cackling woman, but instead a man that drove this set of faux balls about.

Is it a desire to bond with your truck on a level most comfortably left to pornos in a dark room or with a cheap hooker?

Is it a desire to show the world that although you may only stand an intimidating 5'2 and weigh a mean 120 lbs soaking wet, you clearly have giant man hulking balls as evidenced by the swinging sack strung below the tow hitch of your jacked up, diesel belching, roaring truck?

Another thing that swinging chariot of ill-proportioned plastic led me to ponder was this:

Why on earth did the man choose BLUE fake balls? Has he not heard of the infamous term "blue balls"? Perhaps he has and he's letting the world know his sad plight, but really I think that's highly improbable.

Perhaps then, in a failed attempt at color coordinating with his blue pickup, this short but brutal and tough, bar fighting, tumbling, beer guzzling man's man inadvertently told the world the wrong tale? A dangling Freudian slip?

Don't you hate it when you set out to tell a lie and end up telling the truth?