"Radioactive Death Pizza" - can good news really come after that title?

We could also title this: Lunch-time Fun with Nightbug!

Microwaveable pizza should not contain even the remotest of possibilities of any of the following:

1.) Explosions
2.) Melting
3.) DNA resequencing

Step 1.) Remove pizza from box.
Success!
Step 2.) Remove pizza from plastic wrapper.
Success!
Step 3.) Place pizza on microwaveable safe plate.
Success!
Step 4.) Set microwave to "high" and timer to five minutes.
Success!
Step 5.) Enjoy your meal!
Epic FAIL!

Should one open the microwave to find a crispy and blackened hunk of bread and what was once possibly cheese permanently adhered to a plate?

Should smoke follow the opening of said microwave?

Should one feel compelled to throw the plate into the trash, leap about in horror after large waves of smoke erupt from said trash and feel the sudden desire to pour a gallon of water on top of it to prevent said pizza from combusting?

Say "goodbye" to pizza, my friends. Say "hello" to popcorn.

Mmmm. Nutritious!