So, it's Wednesday. *runs screaming for exit door before caught by security guards and dragged back to cubicle* Damn you, Khan!

They call Wednesday "hump day". >_> Did Hugh Hefner make up this name?! Or do I just need more coffee to enter into the world of "mature adults"?

Yet again, I was locked outside of the building and had to wait for someone to open the door for me. This time I was smart and stayed out of that cheese box from hell and sucked in fresh air - only mildly polluted with diesel, TCDDs and the disgusting scent of cigarette butts sitting in a pool of water (once called an ashtray) for over a week.

I already asked our receptionist to make me a new pass card on Monday. Curse you, big breasted blonde lady - so says the small chested burnette over here in the corner. If my list continues growing at this rate of people I'm at a personal war with, I'm going to end up taking on the entire office over something as ludicrous as my stapler. Gah! *runs from copyright infringement suits*

I'm terrified to try the coffee in the breakroom this morning. I left some from yesterday in my ceramic mug and it's leaking now. O_o However, the only other thing to drink in this accursed monkey farm is either Sprite or water and neither have caffeine. My stomach is revolting against the rest of my body in protest, my veins shriveling away to dust and I'm positive I'll end up rocking back and forth in the fetal position if I don't find a new mug to get some coffee within the hour.

".....Braiiiiinnnnnssssss...."

This coffee from the breakroom tastes awfully strange. I think it's trying to eat away at the lining of my esophagus. Once again, I believe I have stumbled upon proof that my coworkers are attempting to kill one another via poison. Luckily, as I have survived my own heinous cooking for many years I believe I am currently immune to all manmade and naturally occuring toxins.

...And if I don't drink this coffee I'm going to fall asleep at my desk and get fired.

Okay, okay, I also don't want to get off my butt and attempt to create a semi-normal tasting pot of coffee. This is partially laziness and partially my sense of self preservation kicking in. If the scavengers in this office learned I am capable of creating coffee that does not put others immediately into intensive care, I am positive that half of them would force me to make said coffee daily and the other half would take baseball bats to my legs in the parking lot for ruining their nefarious scheme of slow, bitter and strangely acrid tasting concoctions that are no doubt killing the various levels of management in painfully contrived ways.

Earlier today my security card failed to open the door to admit me to the office. In order to reach that locked door I must first enter one unlocked door and am then stuck into this tiny little glass box that is always horribly overheated and smells of burnt cheese. When the door failed to open I was immediately filled with glee at the prospect of skipping work and stating I could not enter and then reality sank in as 1.) I realized that I had an intercom button beside me and 2.) the scent of burnt cheese and the accompanying odor of vinyl crept into my nostrils and tried to tie my internal organs into intricate celtic knotwork designs - though I'm sure they would have been pretty, I felt a stronger desire to live and pounded on the door. Not two feet away was the cleaning man who sees me each morning. He wouldn't let me in! I am always polite and say 'good morning', but apparently that is not enough to breed comraderie. 'This means war!' I thought with my last dying breath, 'I'm going to walk on your freshly mopped floor without wiping my shoes from now on if I live through this!'. Luckily, a coworker came by and buzzed me through before I collapsed squeaking on the umbrella littered linoleum.

Now I plot my revenge against Cleaning Man. Muwahahahah. Okay, not really.

I have three more hours in this cubicle farm. The only thing that will get me through this day is making tiny tissue paper voodoo men of my coworkers, smuggling them to the bathroom, and burning them in effigy.

...I think I've drank too much coffee. *collapses*

I finally heard back from the apartment complex a few moments ago. I got the apartment! I'm so excited. However, they said that my credit score wasn't high enough so I now have to pay an extra security deposit of $464 dollars! I have never heard of such an outrageous request. Unfortunately, this is the best apartment I can find near my work with excellent square footage and in a semi-safe neighborhood. At least, the doors have security alarms installed for free.

This means, of course, that I must pay this heinous deposit in addition to my first month's rent. I'm going to be completely broke. I wish I could skip this vacation and then I would be perfectly set for the move. Unfortunately, the vacation is on Friday and everyone is set to go and I have already purchased the plane tickets. What ill timing!

Finding an apartment in a nice part of this city that accepts dogs was more of a challenge than I had anticipated. I have never owned a dog and tried to live in an apartment before.

Last week, I finally managed to find an apartment in the city that will accept my German Shepherd. A lot of the apartments in this state seem to have breed restrictions.

I visited thousands of apartments online and visited a handful in person to no avail until last week. "Finally!", I thought as I took the grand tour. Grand tour indeed! This apartment is 1233 square feet. It's perfect in every way. So, of course, I filed the application and paid all of the necessary fees last Tuesday. I was supposed to have received a call on Monday in regards to my acceptance and I still haven't heard anything. Apparently, the woman I was working with is out sick and only she has access to my information.

This has disaster written all over it as the apartment I want is the only one left available and I'm leaving the country for two weeks on this (highly unlucky) Friday the 13th. I hope this woman makes it to work at some point before I leave or I'll lose my reservation on the apartment - it's only good for two weeks and one has passed already.