Hmm...my title just made me realize I have vodka here, however. Excuse me, I have to do..erm..check the mail real quick before continuing my post. Yes...of course, the mail...

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

It was today that I realized I have some rather strange habits. I suppose I should have become aware of this some time further back considering the odd looks I encounter throughout my daily public existence.

For instance, when I'm having a particularly rough day at work and find myself reaching the point where I am likely to snap at someone, I stand in front of the full length mirror in the women's restroom and make ghastly faces at myself. This inevitably leaves me giggling monstrously and makes it rather difficult to put on a professional facade if someone else comes in after me. I'm left with either a scrunched up face and a horrified bathroom partner or swallowing fits of giggles until my appearance is that of a clumsily dressed schizophrenic with apoplectic fits (now accompanied by a really horrified bathroom partner).



Once again I am stricken with the knowledge that whispers in my ear, "This is why the majority of people you casually know merely mutter hello, avert their eyes, and scurry away". Odd, I think I should be more distraught over this. And yet...

I get random phrases and words stuck in my head quite frequently. Currently, the phrase "societal preconceptions" keeps whirling around in there and it's driving me up the wall. If this continues I'm going to end up climbing to the top of my cubical and throwing my morning banana at random passersby while screeching incoherently a la irate baboon style.

Minus the feces. I attach that as an addendum simply because I know it was at the tip of some of your typing fingers.

I have concluded there are some acts and/or excuses one may use that one will never ever live down again. In fact, they shall be committed to immortality to other blogs as points of amusement. The fact that I turned down free concert tickets one night because I was in an instance (aka dungeon mission) in WoW is surely one of those moments. My Geekdom, she reigns supreme.

For a moment of seriousness, Edwards' wife has found out her breast cancer has spread. I feel awful for her as a difficult road is yet again stretched out at her feet. However, one cannot help but admire her strength and spirit. Nonetheless, the more cynical and political side of me makes this equation in regard to the situation: Edwards + sick wife = sympathy votes.

I love St. Thomas Aquinas. Especially this quote below:

"Further, the existence of truth is self-evident. For whoever denies the existence of truth grants that truth does not exist: and, if truth does not exist, then the proposition 'Truth does not exist' is true: and if there is anything true, there must be truth".

Objective 3, Question II, page 21, Intro to St. Thomas Aquinas

Looking back, I realize now I had some pretty absurd childhood terrors. As a result, my childhood was filled with inane little rituals. Let's list them, shall we?

1.) I was convinced that if I pulled the plug in the bathtub while I was sitting in it that I would be sucked down the drain and eaten by a monster. I had to leap out of the tub, reach cautiously inside, pull the stopper and step quickly away least whatever lived inside the plumbing attempted to break our nonverbal agreement that I could only be pulled through the drain while standing in the bathtub.

2.) Much like the bathtub drain, I was also similarly convinced that I would be suction cupped into the toilet if I flushed it while sitting down. After watching the movie Ghoulies and the scene where a small demon hid in the toilet bowl and then attacked the man that sat down bare-bottomed, my phobia increased exponentially. The end result was that after a thorough inspection of the bowl and surrounding area, I would sit, leap up, flush the toilet and run screaming down the hallway until I reached the sanctity of my bedroom. Every single time.

3.) I was convinced that after dark if I were to glance into a mirror I would see an evil ghost. By acknowledging the evil ghost, I would give it power to leap through the reflective pane and devour me in creepy ghostly ways. Thus, when passing mirrors, I would duck below them and scrabble crablike as fast as humanly possible.

4.) Unlike most children that fear monsters in their closets with big saliva dripping fangs, matted fur, and huge claws, mine was a well-known and loved Saturday morning figure. I feared Count Chocula from the chocolate sugar encased cereal that took center place on every Saturday morning gorge fest.

I could list a few more, but the remaining shreds of my dignity are begging me not to. In fact, they're threatening a mutiny and I think I caught sight of a pitchfork a moment ago.

Disclaimer: All of these adolescent phobias I thoroughly and without any guilt blame on my older brother.

It has rained nonstop today. Before the sun even began to consider creeping over the horizon, the sky began dumping water with wild abadon on us poor, unsuspecting land dwelling mammals.

At this point, it would be easier to paddle home from work than to drive.

On the arrival of my lunch hour, I sloshed through the parking lot half convinced I would have an easier time of it if only I were wearing flippers and a snorkel.

In twenty minutes I'll be teaching my car the basics in swimming.

Doggie Paddle 101 for Automobiles.

* One on one teaching.

* 20 minute lessons.

* Hopefully only one lesson is necessary.

Does anyone have a wetsuit?