This is surely an odd year from the events that have happened in it thus far. The majority of people that I know that have had long standing relationships are either having problems or have broken it off entirely. I won't even begin to list the long and depressingly numerous amount of names in this.

The only bright and positive aspect of this is that I hope this means that these individuals have now learned what they want in a mate and will go out and find exactly what their heart desires (and will keep desiring) for the remainder of their life.

Relationships are confusing, confusing creatures sometimes.

I have a party to go to tonight. Believe it or not, I'm not much of a party person. Maybe I was about five or six years ago, but I'm a bit more of a homebody these days. I like to go out and visit in twos and threes (for groups), grab some coffee and chat, or something along those lines. Big party bashes are a rarity for me and, I will admit it, I do have a tendency to get a bit nervous!

Speaking of nervous, that reminds me of some of the silly things that I have done or have had happen to me so far this year.

Hmm...where to start (and what not to reveal )

I was taking Sam on a walk the other day and he kept stepping on the heels of my sandals. Finally, just as a long string of cars are going by, he gets my sandal good and I almost sprawl completely on my face on the sidewalk.

I'm still trying to figure out if that accidental step on his part was intentional.

I love eating popcorn at work. It's an easy snack and lasts longer than five seconds (usually). The worst part is that, inevitably, I always drop popcorn. Unfortunately, when I had a coworker sitting next to me (and luckily not paying attention), I dropped a piece down my shirt and it got lodged in my bra. Since I had already taken a quick bathroom break a few minutes earlier, I was stuck sitting there with popcorn invading the land of bra-dom until he left half an hour later.

Let us also not count the amount of times I have spilled coffee all over my work station.

I'm starting to see a pattern and it cries "clutz".

Last year when I started learning how to drive a five speed, I got stuck on a steep hill. I kept killing it when I put it in first gear and tried to drive up it. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't have been rush hour traffic.

And, yes, let us not even mention the gargantuan muffler (aka: The Rocket) attached to my car like some sort of metallic leech. I've even had children in the neighborhood come over to my car, get down on hands and knees, and start looking inside of it exclaiming all kinds of mean things that I'm sure gave my car quite the self esteem complex.


That's it for now. Wish me luck on this party - hopefully I won't end up trapped in the bathroom by my own accidental doings, collapse down the stairs, fall out of a window, or somehow manage to stuff myself in the oven thinking it was the coat closet.

Something a lot of people seem to fail to realize when calling in for technical support is that if you immediately begin the conversation with a representative with a poor attitude you're not going to get assistance as easily.

It's very difficult to help someone that is launching themselves verbally down your throat as soon as you say "Customer support, this is NightBug."



The desire to help plummets about as fast as the lady on the phone is diving down said throat.

It's also difficult to continue "assisting" this person when they persist in slamming insults left and right and won't shut up long enough to hear your explanation of what the error is.

And then they get offended.

Seriously...calm down. I don't care what your title is, but if I'm trying to help you and you're not doing the steps I'm telling you to, why do you continue to scream hysterically into the phone and expect me to remain cheerful?

First, I've upped the font size here from 10 to 12 pt after reading some comments about it on Bry_M's blog (See - I love you after all, Rubble! lol).

Second, yes - I visited Bry and his fabulous porch this past weekend. I will admit the porch was the main reason and not Bry's company.



Oh my god, put down that snake, Bry! I was only joking!

It is a fabulous porch. It was almost as large as my muffler. And, despite his nefarious mumblings otherwise, it did come with the car. Sadly, he's not really exaggerating about the size of it.

The nephew has returned to those who spawned him and it took me a day to recover. I think I have developed a slight tic.

The creature, I mean my nephew, went to bed last night at 11 o'clock.

Normally, I stay up late out of sheer enjoyment and don't fall asleep until 2 in the morning.

I stayed up until 2 in the morning today, but not out of enjoyment. It was more so out of residual fear.

I would hear him stir from the other room and panic would have me in it's cold grip - oh god, he's going to wake up and have a full blown energy attack and start zipping around the house again.

Luckily, he slept the night through with Patchouli the guard cat sitting beside him and keeping watch until the wee hours of the morning.

At the flea market the other day he picked up a small trinket ring for his girlfriend. As the aunt it is my right, nay my duty, to embarrass my nephew. So I made sure the seller knew he had a girlfriend.

The child turned so red you would have thought lava had dumped down his shirt.



The entire ride back he kept inspecting the ring.

"She's going to love this."

"She's going to forget all about that other boy."

Other boy? What the hell? My ten year old life was marketedly different than this!

"I think this is a real diamond, don't you? It's definitely a real diamond and I got a good deal on it - Two dollars!"

Heheheheh. Cute.

I awoke this morning and laid in bed, hiding under the covers and waiting for a sound from the other room. An hour passed, I sighed in relief and cuddled the dog like a security blanket.

Uh oh! He awoke! And immediately was full of energy.

I made my escape, a mad dash into the bathroom with doors locked and the shower turned on.

Sadly, eventually one has to emerge and so we made the forty minute drive back (after a trip to McDonalds - meat slaughter kingdom of the world - of which the dog was quite happy to eat the creepy faux chicken remains of the nephew's breakfast).

The kid tries to draw in the car all the way back and has now dubbed me "Miss Bumpy"! Every time the car came to a stop or I had to make a turn, I swear he tried to kill me with his imaginary laser eye beams.

Now, now I'm at my parents house which is five minutes from my brother's place. I'm contemplating the drive back home and only hope my twitchy reserves can make it!

Bry_M, I'm in your neck of the woods today since the parents live practically next door to you. If I didn't have Sam I would stop by and say hello to Pedro!

Today I have entered a ring of hell filled with the sound of childish laughter and never-ending energy.

Yes, that's right...I'm babysitting my 10 year old nephew for the night.

The day of hell began at 2:30 when he arrived on my doorstep. After the park, the fairgrounds, the thrift store (dear lord, why is he obsessed with trying on pants that are taller than he is??), and finally (blessedly) back to my apartment...I can't feel my legs.

Peace, a movie and dinner, I thought.

Wrong.

Five minutes later he's made friends with the neighborhood children and they converge on my floor in front of the television like a neurotic band of cannibals.

The Xbox 360 is taken hostage and suddenly Halo 3 commences along with more smack talk than I have ever heard in my life.

My pizza was devoured promptly. I managed to snag two slices for myself and only after brandishing the threat of a painful death and running, screaming hysterically, from the room clutching my cheese pizza to my chest.

After a trip to the park with his new friends, I sat on my staircase staring blankly at the trees.

Trees...I thought. They have such a nice...quiet life. It's not like trees have to worry about watching a gazillion children you never noticed even lived in your complex while suddenly looking at the floor and realizing that tomato sauce can embed itself in light tan carpeting before you can even blink.

Finally, 8:30 rolls around. Surely the child must be getting tired???

No. No, it is not tired. It is tormenting me even more. I hear "You gotta and hafta see dis! Come quick, quick!!!"

I run into the room. I see....I see...
...Um, yes, it's my computer monitor. I know it's flat. Yes, yes I have two. Uh huh. Aren't you tired?????



I'm tempted to lace the food with a sedative.

My brother seems to find this all quite amusing. I've called him more times than I can count and always begin the conversation the same way, "Dear god, I need adult interaction."



Seven in the morning...when that time comes we are running to the car and driving like the blazing wind to my brother's house. Then ... then...sweet, blessed silence.

I want to drive in my car listening to classical music again on the way home instead of some strange pop teeny bopper band with lyrics that make absolutely no sense.