I was driving back from my parents house and couldn't help but notice a few signs along the way: "For Sale, 12.4 acres, Zoned for Commercial Use, New Development Soon, Future Home of the Big Ass Fucking Church That Doesn't Need To Grow Any Further (16.5+ acres)". As the miles clicked off and the signs did too, I was reminded of an experience I had ten years previously.

When I was sixteen, I volunteered to be a Governor's Page for two weeks for the city of Raleigh. Even though I was assigned to work in the Agriculture Department, I still received the opportunity to meet the current governor and, if I remember correctly, that was Governor Hunt.

I stood behind his chair with a few other classmates, gave an obligatory though weak smile, and had my picture taken. I was handed a certificate as well for "Outstanding Service to the State of North Carolina".

My classmates filed out of the room, happy with the certificate and the limp handshake we each received from the governor at the door. I was last in line. As I took that aged hand in mine, I decided I should speak my mind to someone who could, perhaps, take me seriously in an intellectual capacity - as a concerned citizen with a voice to be heard.

I explained that I was worried about the rapid development that was encroaching on our state. I was concerned about the negative impact that would be had upon the local environment due to the incessant urban sprawl that was unfolding before our very eyes year after year.

The governor nodded, smiled and with a slight condescending pat informed me that the local government knew what it was doing and that I should trust in that.

I reflected and pondered some more as I continued to drive past small patches of land earmarked for development and large subdivisions that seemed to spring from the very ground even before my car managed to accelerate away.

I suppose government does know best, after all. Each year, more people move here. More buildings are erected. More taxes are imposed. The coffers swell, the payrolls increase. But our available land declines, the smog grows more noticeable with each passing day. Two lane roads have swollen to four and then six. Our population in this state has exceeded the carrying capacity of our water supply - we exist in a perpetual state of drought, a state which thousands ignore.

Yet the government knows best. We have growth and growth is translated into economic gains for the state and a larger population means a larger vote and voice for federal affairs. We also have a sunset that continues to become more and more awe-inspiring every year, thanks to the air pollution.

11:00pm
In forty minutes, my second 8 hour shift will begin. I'm just finishing up the first 8 hours now. So far, I have yet to experience any pyschotic delusional episodes, but that is to be expected as I'm currently still operating under my normal 2nd shift "steam".

Woe, woe to the people that come in at 7 in the morning and find me permanently adhered to the floor, drooling incessantly, murmuring in tongues and possibly convulsing from lack of sleep.

Woe, woe also to the people that call me any time after 4am in the hopes of receiving any form of coherent technical support.

12:03am
I would like to point out that the universe is a cruel entity if it has any form of sentience. Why is it that normally I fall directly asleep at night and sleep for eight hours straight without any problems, but the night before I have to pull 16 hours I wake up every hour or half hour?

I'll tell you why.

Sadism. Pure unadulterated sadism.

Either that or my entire existance is really that of a character on a comedy television show. Perhaps, if I'm really lucky, a web comic (one in which I'm well drawn and proportionate instead of one of those that make the characters look like bobble headed stick figures with breasts the size of cycad seeds).



*looks down*

Well, on second thought, I'm definitely proportionate if I'm a cartoon character. Either that or the artist has no concept of female curvature.

...oi vey. My mental capacity is just going to degrade from here...

12:44am
I have almost finished reading through the entire archive of the webcomic "Something Positive". While it is a good comic, I would like to say the following...

Help.

12:48am

Whimper

1:15am
I'm only typing because I feel the urge to update. And also to do something at least partially constructive to hold off the overwhelming urge to run rampant around the empty complex until I fall into a sodden heap in a corner.

I could do homework, but I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't end up with a passing grade right now. Especially since I just typed "magical" as "mackigal" when I was on IM with a friend.


2:18am
Well, I'm getting there, right? Sort of...

Come onnnnn 7:30am...Momma needs her bed now. Sweet...pretty bed with the little comforter and the sheets...the comfy pajamas and a cuddly dog...

Sniffles

Maybe some cocoa...and some marshmellows...and...zzzzzzzz

I wonder how well I'm going to be able to navigate the three flights of stairs up to my apartment, putting Sam on a leash, navigate them back down and back up again before I get to go to bed?

3:00am
I made it to 3am! Hahaha. The world is mine. Infinite power. Sleep? Who needs that? I have evolved past that frail human necessity. I can do anything, I can-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5:00am
Bleeaappulrrrlll....gurgle...smack smack..nom nom...hee..gurrgdsstheppppp

Um...I think I should go and get coffee. I just caught myself staring off into space and, for once, I wasn't thinking about anything.



6:59am
One half hour left. One half hour left.

Unfortunately, I have reached that zombie-like state of mind in which I know I won't be able to fall asleep for several hours now and until then (and after) I will barely manage to function on a level even remotely close to that of human standards. Currently, I think I'm about on par with tarsers.

Yes, that's right. It is an apt name.

Tomorrow I will be working a double shift to cover since the third shift associate is off work and they can't find a replacement. So, I'm working 16 hours.

There is a plus side to this, I'm sure - when I get ready to fall asleep or start slinging myself frantically against the walls, I can blog instead and entertain the world with my sleep-deprived rampages.

Eek. I have an exam tomorrow. I'm not ready!

"Radioactive Death Pizza" - can good news really come after that title?

We could also title this: Lunch-time Fun with Nightbug!

Microwaveable pizza should not contain even the remotest of possibilities of any of the following:

1.) Explosions
2.) Melting
3.) DNA resequencing

Step 1.) Remove pizza from box.
Success!
Step 2.) Remove pizza from plastic wrapper.
Success!
Step 3.) Place pizza on microwaveable safe plate.
Success!
Step 4.) Set microwave to "high" and timer to five minutes.
Success!
Step 5.) Enjoy your meal!
Epic FAIL!

Should one open the microwave to find a crispy and blackened hunk of bread and what was once possibly cheese permanently adhered to a plate?

Should smoke follow the opening of said microwave?

Should one feel compelled to throw the plate into the trash, leap about in horror after large waves of smoke erupt from said trash and feel the sudden desire to pour a gallon of water on top of it to prevent said pizza from combusting?

Say "goodbye" to pizza, my friends. Say "hello" to popcorn.

Mmmm. Nutritious!