Sweetness! Suddenly I feel even more justified in my geekness. The quiz does not lie.

72% Geek

I'm not so confident in my zombie survival abilities. But they didn't have my one saving grace on the quiz! In case of zombie apocalypse:

A. Shoot wildly
B. Cry hysterically, clinging to the remains of a loved one that is soon to reawaken and eat you alive
C. Screw the city and hightail it out into the unpopulated countryside with a heavy supply of nonperishables and weaponry that doesn't need to be reloaded
D. Lock yourself into a building with finite resources

C is, of course, my plan. Yes, I have a zombie contingency plan. It makes me happy. I sleep better at night for it.


52%

Um...okay. That's a bit morbid (and much like when someone says, "Ew! This tastes awful - Try it!" I shall post that which is a bit morbid)

140,364 People

14% less wattage than the average person. No comments on lightbulbs! Heheh

215 WATTS Body Battery Calculator - Find Out How Much Electricity Your Body is Producing -

And last, but not least...okay, maybe it is least...What everyone secretly wants to know: Do I have it in me to cannibalize my friends and family?

22%

Huh. I thought I had a stronger survival instinct than that.

Articles and links on what's up:

Article 1

Article 2

The targets

Warning to all scholarly individuals...today (and the next two weeks) have been issued the following Mantra Mandate (adhere strictly or suffer the consequences):

Mantra Mandate (to be repeated rigorously):

Education is Easy! (Yes, capitalized like that - improper grammar is important)

Repeat after me...

Education is Easy! Education is Easy! Education is Ea...



Back soon. I just have to run into a wall a few times...with my skull.

I have this overwhelming sensation of slowly being devoured by my own mail. My junk mail and my bills have formed an alliance under the treaty "Pile and Conquer". It goes a little like this:

I open the mailbox while whistling with happy and exuberant joy from awakening successfully without being permanently maimed by either my cat or the alarm clock.

Suddenly!

From within the mailbox a cry erupts and a large bulk of junk mail leaps forth and presses me to the cold concrete floor of the mailroom. I'm inundated and paralyzed by copious amounts of flyers, coupons, and credit card offers.

And then!

When I'm at my most helpless, the bills goose step out of the box and trundle up to my wee toes. With their sticky mouths and razor sharp "Due Now!" wit, they begin to devour me alive!

At least it feels that way.

The next time I go and check my mail, I'm bringing a blow torch with me.

HOUSE RULES

OBEY LEST YE BE DEVOURED*

*by carrots+
+with trained flying monkeys capable of spewing Latin phrases thirty verbal mph with wild abandon! Gliujam!

1. Dishes must be washed nightly to prevent any unseemly attacks from mutant hyper-intelligent (yet non-agricultural society based) cockroaches. Furthermore, preventative dish washing shall dissuade said unnatural cockroaches from building luxury housing underneath the sink. This must be avoided at all costs! All costs! We shall not abide by this upward mobility of other races – Regardless of their reasonable lease rates, plush carpets, and garden bathtubs (standard in every unit at no extra cost!)

2. The cat box of unseemly, unsightly, horrifyingly odiferous doom must be cleansed every 24 hours. The lost demonic spirits captured amidst the clumps of clay, silt and gravel must be purged (prayer, gas masks, and holy water are highly recommended accoutrements during this exorcism) it is best to cleanse the felinus pandora’s box with the protective rays of sunlight shining beatifically upon and around one’s crown to prevent any malodorous surprise demonic uprisings. This is known as the “Cat Box Cleaner’s Holy Halo of Harmonious Redolence”.

3. The trash containment unit, commonly referred to as a “can”, must be physically removed from the domicile, upturned in a legally sanctioned area, and returned to said domicile in an empty state. Failure to upend this unit regularly may result in the potential development of ambulatory semi-sentient life forms of a physical combination of no less than three parts trash and two parts vegetable/fruit byproduct. Hark these words! Empty thy can or suffer the composting consequences of carnivorous celery!

I got bored at work the other night. Can you tell?

Oh, and yes, this is now posted on my fridge. I couldn't resist.