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Girl and Dog in the City
Archive for 200702 ( return to current blog )
Friday February 16, 2007
I deny all accountability for my past, present and future actions.
That being said, I shall deny the following: 1.) I deny chasing after my dog while pretending I am Dracula or Frankenstein. "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables2.) I deny bursting out into song at the grocery store and slinking away in horror upon realizing I wasn't the only person in the aisle. "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. 3.) I deny ever activating the "five second rule". "Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline4.) I deny sounding like Sylvester from Looney Tunes after having only one beer. "How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer5.) I deny attempting to find ways to kill talkative coworkers with the piercing hatred radiating from my eyes. "I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons It's Friday! Freedom is but scant ...hours....away.  Damn it. | | Posted by Night Bug at 1:05 PM - | |
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Thursday February 15, 2007
Adult Content: In a Manner of Speaking Valentine's Day. A day of happiness, love, solidarity and goodwill toward your significant other. For those of us that are single, it is yet another aggressive heart-shaped reminder that sex has yet again eluded our grasp.
Living with a roommate that is currently ensconced in a lovey-dovey relationship, I felt compelled to remind him that "One day, you will rejoin our ranks!". Unfortunately, he reminded me that "Yes, but unlike you, I'll still get some."
I lack the ability to have sex outside of a committed relationship. It's something that I simply cannot do. The act will nag at me, "I had sex with ____" and eventually develop into "I think I have feelings for ____" and roller coasters downhill without a safety bar, sans airbag and with a wanton disregard for the effect of gravity on my person after slamming 100 MPH face first into a concrete pit.
After awhile, however, even the most prudish lot amongst us will eventually develop that predatory gleam in their eye when any semi-attractive member of the opposite (or same) sex drifts away from the safety of the herd.
The worst thing to do in these instances is to drive over to your nearest cafe and imbibe two espressos. Whereas before you were thinking about sex every ten minutes (wanting it, not having it, glaring daggers into the backs of anyone that so much as looked like they were capable of having any relatively soon), two shots of espresso and half a pot of coffee later you are now capable of doing all of these actions simultaneously at speeds faster than a hamster on methamphetamines shooting himself out of an intergalactic black hole powered double barrel cannon could ever hope to attain.
ZOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!
But, I digress.
The point is: Fuck it. I'm going to Chippendale's! But, first, I'm getting an espresso.
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Tuesday February 13, 2007
BEGIN TRANSMISSION
Night Bug: It has come to our attention that our society is in need of expansion. Like Alexander the Great, we strive toward the ultimate goal of supreme rule. However, due to our unique infrastructure, we do not have to worry about over-extending ourselves and causing an eventual societal collapse as has been done in the past. Our first target shall be that of Russia. Mr. Fisk, you are imperative for the success of this mission. You must initiate contact with the Russian black market and mafia. It will be of great future use to us.
Seven is Darker: And, just as useful will be the materia-mastery wielded by our very own Mr. Warlock. We will need your earth and fire based materia-powers to create a network of underground and subterranean based pseudo hideout locations to act as a distraction against the war hawks that will surely be looking for them.
Night Bug: Once your missions are complete, contact us immediately and we will begin initiating Phase Two of our operations. Succeed and you will be amply rewarded. Mr. Fisk, I believe you requested augmentation. After Phase One is under wraps, it shall be yours.
Seven is Darker: Mr Warlock, upon satisfactory completion of the implementation of the appropriate decoy locations, we will require your presence in St. Petersburg. Rendevous with us at 0800 hours to receive your reward. Failure is not an option.
END TRANSMISSION | | Posted by Night Bug at 9:27 PM - | |
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Sunday February 11, 2007
I spent $45.00 to attend a fundraiser party for a local art gallery last night. It was, in the past, a rather exciting event from what I have heard.
Aside from the Mardi Gras beads, the bright star shaped lights twirling about a vacant dance floor and 70's music blaring from the speakers, I suppose it could have been worse.
Oh, wait. It did get worse.
The highlight of the night consisted of my acquiring a plate full of cheese cubes while listening to the announcer raffle off a prize that consisted of two tickets to a college diner and a 7-Up cake.
Ladies and gentlemen, I spent $45.00 to relive the pre-teen memories of Junior Highschool dances that I spent much of my time attempting to erase from my consciousness. Just when I thought I had succeeded, I paid to have them vigorously reawakened.
So, how did we recover from this horrific night that tripped headlong down this concussion rife memory lane? We went bowling. Yes, bowling. I graduated from Junior High and went at warp speed to Highschool where I was able to prove my self worth in the midst of teenagers by scoring a total whopping and impressive number of 33.
"When in doubt make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap."
-Cynthia Heimel
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Saturday February 10, 2007
Sappho of Lesbos was regarded as one of Greece's greatest lyric poets. She is an unusual figure in a world dominated by men. Below is one of her more famous poems - "To Anaktoria" is about the Trojan War. It is a striking contrast to Homer's "Iliad". Sappho, "To Anaktoria, Now a Soldier's Wife in Lydia"
"Some say cavalry and some would claim infantry or a fleet of long oars is the supreme sight on the black earth. I say it is
the girl you love. And easily proved. Did not Helen, who was queen of mortal beauty, choose as first among mankind the very scourge
of Trojan honor? Haunted by Love she forgot kinsmen, her own dear child and wandered off to a remote country. O weak and fitful
woman bending before any man: so Anaktoria, although you are far, do not forget your loving friends. And I for one
would rather listen to your soft step and see your radiant face - than watch all the dazzling horsemen and armored hoplites of Lydia." "To Atthis"
So I shall never see Atthis again, and really I long to be dead, although she too cried bitterly
when she left and she said to me, "Ah, what a nightmare we've suffered. Sappho, I swear I go unwillingly."
And I answered, "Go, and be happy. But remember me, for surely you know how I worshiped you. If not,
then I want you to remember all the exquisite days we too shared; how when near me you would adorn
your hanging locks with violets and tiny roses and your sapling throat with necklets of a hundred blossoms;
how your young flesh was rich with kingly myrrh as you leaned near my breasts on the soft couch where delicate girls
served us all an Ionian could desire; how we went to every hill, brook, and holy place, and when early spring
filled the woods with noises of birds and a choir of nightingales - we two in solitude were wandering there."
Personally, I think Sappho needs more recognition. It seems that to most of the world, her works have been forgotten. I'm in a strange mood this weekend. A lot of things are going on right now and I'm trying to figure out what direction everything is taking in my life. | | Posted by Night Bug at 6:31 PM - | |
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