My flight went smoothly and for that I am eternally gratefully. After customs, we had to wait for half an hour in the cold for our bus to arrive to ferry us to our parked vehicle at the nearest Holiday Inn. The surfboards took up the top of the seats and I was stuck crouching underneath them on the floor. Every time the vehicle took a turn, they swayed alarmingly and I was convinced death would soon be upon me and what a way to die - squished by surfboards from above and adherred to the floor of the van by used discarded bubble gum. The morticians would have had to pry me out of there with a giant spatula.
After a three hour drive, I arrived home safe and relatively of sound mind and body.
My dog was being held prisoner at the kennel. They had closed early that weekend for a reason unbeknownst to any of us except to cause me further angst. Finally, I sprung him free at 4pm the next day when they opened their doors.
Aside from the mugging, I took a horseback ride through the national forest and got to see all the trails I was stuck wandering around on the day before with the police. My ever so friendly guide decided to inform me that I had been walking unknowingly through an area that was rife with alligator nests. At that moment, I no longer saw the beauty of nature. Instead, I returned to the bar and saw the beauty of the bottom of several empty beer bottles.
Someone in our group had the bright idea to visit a nearby waterfall in Mal Pais. As we are literally swinging over large holes via the trees and skipping the stones across the river, one of my travel mates fell in, much to our amusement and the immediate demise of his ego. After skipping atop algae covered rocks barefoot (as we had only packed flip flops for this trip) we managed to reach this supposedly awe inspiring fall. I was not filled with awe at this natural creation. It resembled a 45 foot rocky ravine with water spitting from the top in an attempt to drown me as I swam around. I entertained myself with the attempts to catch fish barehanded, but alas, they escaped my clutches over and over again. Obviously, I was not a feline in a past life.
One of my travel mates slipped on the way to the vehicle in the middle of one of the towns and had the immediate joy of falling in sewage water. She expressed her delight and pleasure by cursing the entire bouncy way back to the room and throughout her hour long scrub fest in the shower.
The last hotel we stayed in was a terrifying example of why some people should never ever be allowed to construct or maintain buildings that will eventually contain life forms other than rats and insects. If you stood a certain way in the shower you were shocked as electrical wires dangled in front of the showerhead. When turning off the ceiling fan, the room was suddenly alight with sparks and the melodious sound of angry electricity. The sheets were once white, but stained a disturbing chocolate brown in certain areas, filled with holes, and quite crunchy to the touch. I awoke every other hour atop the towels I had laid upon the bed and began frantically beating about the sheets as little creatures attempted to make my body into a midnight meeting hall.
But, the landscape of Costa Rica was quite beautiful and engaging - as long as you didn't get bit by wild horses (almost did), ran over by stampeding cattle (luckily was in the car for that one), eaten by alligators (refer to paragraph above), or impaled on random pieces of razor wire.
At the social security office today a random homeless man wandered inside, cursing and threatening us all. He was apparently under the impression we had all stolen money from him and were "blood sucking thieves". The police officer made him leave only to have him return several moments later and begin cursing again - this time directed at the officer who in turn chased him down the street. I only wanted my social security card back, but I found myself strategically hiding behind the tall man beside me in case of a shooting spree. My definition of philanthropy: I will kindly use humanity in a respectful manner to hide myself from the psychotics in this world and then will thank them for their servitude while fleeing for my car, keys in hand.
At the car dealership this morning I was having my vehicle inspected. My dog was along for the ride and we are wandering about the parking lot viewing cars I will never be able to purchase and should probably have had to pay just to drool over them. Out of nowhere, my dog (Sam) decides to show his opinion of this parking lot of overpriced metal and fiberglass by proceeding to hunch over and (pardon my language) shit in open sight. I glance over my shoulder just as a salesman is approaching with his patented "Buy stuff or get out. Yes, I'm smarmy and roll in bacon grease to make my hair look like this every morning" smile. I drag Sam quickly to the side of the building where we hide until I manage to smuggle him into the car, pay for the inspection and speed away. The rearview mirror showed the salesman standing over the "present" Sam left with an expression of horror and confusion co-mingling on his face.
All in all, I got some excellent photos, some damned good journal entries, and a boat load of memories out of this one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I'm scheduled for my electric shock therapy to recover from this "vacation".
